yes, i still do.

everyone is sleeping

she drives down sunset
with the windows down
just so she can let it in
she knows he's far gone now
but there still are pieces
pieces there still left of him

he uses love like a bullet from a gun
she's careful like a surgeon
everywhere he goes they all know to run
but she can't help but love him
love him

there is a picture sitting by her bed
her reflection in his face
she has been meaning, meaning to move it
but it's always been his place

city of angels, everyone is sleeping
4 am and she's awake
she is moving, moving that picture
someone else will fill that space

someone else will fill that space

now i'm standing alone in a crowded room
and we're not speaking
and i'm dying to know, is it killing you?
like it's killing me

i'd tell you i miss you but i don't know how
i've never heard silence quite this loud

when you're dreaming with a broken heart

the waking up is the hardest part

in lieu of a late-night thought-clearing drive

The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living.

lately something has been nagging me. i consider myself to be the kind of person who thinks very deeply and abstractly; sometimes i am so deep in my thoughts that i forget or neglect the things that are going on around me. honestly this makes casual social interaction a little awkward, if only because i'm pretending to be interested in meaningless small talk. sometimes when i'm talking to someone, i'm wondering what's going on inside their heads. and it frustrates me that we mediate so much of what we say. then again, at times i sincerely wonder if other people think about things as much as i do. on a certain level i'm sure we all do, but i wonder if it's common that it bleeds into our daily lives.

and so i resorted to trusty myers-briggs; if nothing else, to get some comfort in knowing that there are others that suffer the same twisted loneliness of thought that i do. that's partially why i'm so restless at home. everyone is in their safe harbor of home, where you can get away with not being real with each other, and no one wants to disturb that.

something that is enticing about travel is that you're immediately taken out of that mode of thinking. without a comfort zone or safety net, anything goes. you're liberated to be and say whatever you want, and no one will wonder "where did that come from?" unusual experiences trigger emotions and reactions in yourself that you didn't know you had, and the person who shares that with you is instantly bonded to you in a totally unique way. perhaps that's why it's so easy to pick up where i left off with people that i've met on travels.

i know it is the cross i have to take up in this season of life -- being satisfied with where i am and finding the beauty in what's around me.