and i used to think that tied me to you in some sad, pathetic way. an invisible, whisper-thin string that i alone had the power, but not the will, to cut.
i held onto that delicate knot as tightly as i could, like a kid who's way too old for a security blanket, til it stretched and frayed. if i was honest with myself i knew you were drifting farther and farther away from me but i told myself that whatever connection we had was enough. i hung everything on it, trusting blindly that it would hold when i really knew it never did.
well, we both know it was never meant to handle the weight i gave it. i had no choice but to let go. i couldn't watch as the invisible tie between us began to unravel. i looked elsewhere for comfort, for a distraction, for anything to make it hurt less.
and surprisingly, it did. i poked at the wound to see if it still hurt. it was a little sadistic but i pressed hard, to see if there was some ounce of feeling left, some bruising left. but all i felt... was numb. detached.
the days feel lighter and tomorrow's possibilities seem endless. it feels free, almost like it never even happened, but somewhere inside me, i know a price was paid. to be honest, the other night i woke up from an old dream missing you with such crushing force that it hurt to breathe.
i still think of you as the most incredible, special person i have ever and might ever come across, who gave me a chance at friendship, as perfectly ordinary as i am. but the invisible string is gone forever, and i will be happy for you wherever you are in the world.
and i will be happy for me wherever i am in the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment