it's crazy how at the age of 24 i sometimes catch myself thinking i know everything there is to know about love. it takes barely a rustle in the wind to show me how obviously wrong i am, all the time.
i get these questions all the time: "is there someone?" "do you like him?" "have you gone on a date?" and for the first time in my life, i can't answer any questions with a straight answer. not that i haven't had complicated... situations in the past, but usually even complicated relationships can be at least summarized simply. any kind of understanding of what i'm going through now would require an afternoon of coffee, and then maybe hard liquor.
i have always stood by the idea that love can be the simplest thing. and i guess i still do. it's just that i had largely ignored the breadth of emotions that stop just short of it. the last time, i loved so wholeheartedly that nothing on my side was confusing. sure it was messy in a multitude of other ways, but i knew exactly where i stood. now, it's realizing that emotional attachment does not necessarily, but may, translate into romantic chemistry; that romantic interest can be gauged on a very wide scale; that an intense and instantaneous connection does not translate into any kind of relationship compatibility. in other words, i'm a little jaded.
i can't shake the feeling that we've dived into the deep end without learning how to swim...
